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abundance
May 2009 
What do you have the hardest time giving?
Posted on Jan 5th, 2009
by 
Anda
Anda
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 05, 2009:
Trust.
And that's a bit ambiguous of an answer as I tend to follow my heart and my instincts about people - I get a very good sense of whether or not I can trust someone with the deeper, more intimate parts of me. However, trust is something very hard for me to give freely.
I have been walked out on by so many people in my life, I have a constant fear at the back of my mind that it's going to happen again. Knowing how much that hurts already, I really do not want to go through it again, so it will take a while for me to truly, truly begin to trust someone, even if they are someone that I talk to about more important matters to me.
I'm learning now, with the help of my mentor, to open up just a little bit more and not blindly assume that everyone is out to betray me or give up on me or walk away as soon as the going gets tough. It helps that the people in my life right now have all proven that they are not just fair-weather friends.
When you truly do trust the people around you to stick by your side when you most need them, the relationships you have take on a deeper, much more fulfilling level -- true friendship, true love.... yeah, it's a pretty good thing.
And that's a bit ambiguous of an answer as I tend to follow my heart and my instincts about people - I get a very good sense of whether or not I can trust someone with the deeper, more intimate parts of me. However, trust is something very hard for me to give freely.
I have been walked out on by so many people in my life, I have a constant fear at the back of my mind that it's going to happen again. Knowing how much that hurts already, I really do not want to go through it again, so it will take a while for me to truly, truly begin to trust someone, even if they are someone that I talk to about more important matters to me.
I'm learning now, with the help of my mentor, to open up just a little bit more and not blindly assume that everyone is out to betray me or give up on me or walk away as soon as the going gets tough. It helps that the people in my life right now have all proven that they are not just fair-weather friends.
When you truly do trust the people around you to stick by your side when you most need them, the relationships you have take on a deeper, much more fulfilling level -- true friendship, true love.... yeah, it's a pretty good thing.
Access: Public
Wow…can I realte with what you’re saying…I struggle with the same issues. And I also agree that once you are able to let go of your reservations and genuinly trust someone, it is a very dep connection. In some cases I think it is better to be somewhat on guard and wary of “too many friends”…I’d rather have two genuine life-long friends, than 30 momentary friends.
If you’re willing to share, what are the steps you are taking with your mentor to open you up…I could really use some advice from someone else who struggles with this and sincerely understands what kind of barrier it can really be.
Little things – not shutting myself off when I get upset but actually talking it through (takes a lot of trust to confide in someone how you’re really feeling when you’re upset, I’ve learned!) and not just to her, but to seek out friends and family who can support me at such times, which has been very hard for me in the past. Digging deep to discover why I have such trouble trusting others and talking about how I can work within myself to overcome that problem.